He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i drank out of a bidet.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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