Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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