i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
