That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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