i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
