I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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