i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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