This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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