He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
