My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
