whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
