Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
