There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We smell like vodka and hangover
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