U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sacagawea was the original milf.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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