Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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