So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
