My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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