My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
one might say we're banned from that church
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
