I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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