David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
