I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
