The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
