what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
