is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize