Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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