Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
