I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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