NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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