doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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