You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize