She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
