So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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