She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
