Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My bed smells like the plague
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
His wife found the thong I “forgot†in his glovebox
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