i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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