Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
