You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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