there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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