I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
