I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I CAN MOONWALK!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
