I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Text me some of your sweat
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
