Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
another moral hangover. fuck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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