this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
