You work out of a Hotel?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
