BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
