dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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