You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
