hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
