I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
