no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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