Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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