just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
