Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
