Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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