I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
