I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
