he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
