I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
