you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
