Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
