If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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