Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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