You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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